Tristan and the Vicar prove too hot to handle
Pacific v Royal Sovereign at London Fields
Sat 11 Jun 2022 at 1pm
Won by 164 runs
North East London Cricket League

Pacific turned up to London Fields on Saturday, and for quite some time before the start it didnt feel like a cricket match was going to happen. The club bag, complete with stumps, scoreboard, boundary markers, and Ben’s kit was left in a car boot 3 hours away from London. So, the first task of the day was to find someone who worked in the park, unlock the shed and find stumps. They were eventually located in a padlocked wheelie bin, as the ground was set up, and the toss was done. Royal sovereign won and chose to bowl, as messrs Mark Mehta and Tristan Lincoln-Gordon strode out to the middle.

One of the opening bowlers was very slingy, in the Fidel Edwards mould, while at the other end was more of a line and length bowler. The opposition had a distinctly Caribbean flavour, with supporters arriving on the sidelines before not too long, bringing copious amounts of things to consume, as well as a boom box, playing loud reggae and drum and bass music. It could have been a franchise T20 league, and Mark Mehta, complete with a moustache, could have been any number of dodgy Australian openers.

The innings got off to a relatively slow start, with Sovereign sticking to tight lines and not giving much away. The opening pair got to about 70 for no loss by drinks, taking lots of singles and twos interspersed with the odd boundary. As spinners and slower bowlers came on, Mehta and Lincoln-Gordon accelerated, and soon found themselves both on 49 at the same time. Mehta got there first, and duly got out not long after, for 51 off 70 balls. Sovereign also had a rotating roster of about 15 players that routinely switched places to ensure everyone stayed fresh. It didnt really help them. Removed from his opening slot, Toby Chasseaud entered the fray at number three, and instantly upped the scoring rate, with Lincoln-Gordon, as the duo hurtled Pacific towards 150 with about 10 overs to go. Chasseaud hit a number of classy fours and one big six in a sparkling 28 off 25, before our set opener really kicked on.Tristan accelerated his innings, reaching his ton in the last five overs of the innings, and hit multiple sixes into the building on the short leg side boundary. After Toby’s dismissal, there was a series of spectacular catches from Sovereign, with John Deighan and Jahangir Khan both snaffled in quick succession.

Tristan also fell for a well-made 107 and almost broke into a smile, before both Ben Burnham and Ed Hart were dismissed at the end of the innings, which unfortunately petered out somewhat.The 40 overs brought Pacific a respectable 241 against an opposition which have beaten us in the recent past. After a quick-turnaround and non-tea, all bags were moved to the area where the opposition had set up camp. By this point in the afternoon, London Fields was heavily populated by picnic-goers and birthday parties, and everyone was very much enjoying the loud music being played unilaterally by the opposition. After the umpire, who didnt seem to know how to signal four or six properly, said it was time to get underway, Ed Hart took the new ball from the picnic end, while Joe Deighan came in from the tennis court end.


Ed was instantly into his stride, bowling quickly and with a completely legitimate action; getting considerable bounce and movement which the two opening batters couldnt lay a bat on. Joe at the other end started well, but not without controversy. In his first over he bowled a waist high delivery which probably should have been called a no ball. The umpire did not call it, presumably because he was unsure of how to, and the square leg umpire also didnt call it (even though he later claimed he did (he didn’t)). Mutz ran down the pitch to get the catch which had been skied, pushing Jodie out the way, and the clip has still to emerge from Youtube or TikTok. Your loyal following awaits. The opposition were not happy with this decision, but truth be told, the fixture was generally played in good spirits. All of the top three made ducks with Ed Hart nipping out the other opener, thanks to a smart catch from Jahangir Khan, and the number three being taken by Jodie, after a terrific reaction grab by centurion, Lincoln-Gordon. This has also not yet appeared on MySide. Hart then took his second wicket, taking the number four with Khan taking his second catch of the innings, as it rapidly became clear the opposition had maybe consumed one too many things. The number five and six started a mini come back, as one supporter on the sidelines repeatedly shouted PUT THE RUBBISH IN THE BIN” with every stroke that was hit to the boundary. Ed Hart then took his third with an LBW as he entered his seventh over. He had multiple appeals in a single over, and one such appeal led to a moment which nobody could really believe. Jack Mendel, who didnt bat or bowl on Saturday because everyone else batted and bowled so well he wasnt needed, saw his moment to impact on the game.

As Ed Hart appealed, the batter was in a daze, looking at how far out of his crease he was. Mendel picked up the ball at backward point, and as if he was Paul Collingwood (his hero), threw the stumps down, leading to comments. As the umpire reluctantly raised his finger and teammates tried to figure out what happened, comments could be heard such as who was that”, thats what watching England does”, is he Ollie Pope?”, was that Jack?, and Mendels personal favourite (a source close to Mendel confirmed), Mutz saying: thats dark bruv’.

You can indeed watch the aftermath of the run out on TikTok.

Ed then took his fourth, another rapid full straight delivery which trapped the batter LBW, before Jahangir took two wickets, in addition to his four catches throughout the innings. Korgy finished it off with Khan taking the final grab, to cap off a huge victory by a margin of 164, wrapping up the win in under 19 overs. The Tim Garret Champagne Moment of the day goes undoubtably to Tristan for his first Pacific ton, in a chance-less innings that set up a clinical victory.

Rumour has it, theyre still drinking punch and playing music in London Fields a week later.

Pacific v Royal Sovereign
Toss won by Royal Sovereign
Pacific innings  R  M  B  4  6
Mark Mehta   c & b Luke   51  0  70  4  0  
Tristan Lincoln-Gordon   c Backward point b Delroy   107  0  89  14  4  
Toby Chasseaud   lbw b Allen   28  0  25  3  1  
John Deighan   c Allen b Allen   3  0  6  0  0  
Jahangir Khan   c Delroy b Delroy   2  0  4  0  0  
Ben Burnham   c Fielder b Luke   6  0  4  0  0  
Ed Hart   c Fielder b Luke   2  0  2  0  0  
Murtaza Siddiqui*†   not out    1  0  2  0  0  
Aroon Korgaonkar   not out    0  0  0  0  0  
Joe Deighan   did not bat    0  0  0  0  0  
Jack Mendel   did not bat    0  0  0  0  0  
 Extras (b 7, lb 2, w 24, nb 1) 34    
 TOTAL (40.0 Overs) 241    
 Fall of wickets: 
Bowling  O  M  R  W  
Royal Sovereign innings  R  M  B  4  6
Alex   c Khan b Hart   0  0  0  0  0  
Luke   c Siddiqui b Deighan   0  0  0  0  0  
Ray   c Lincoln-Gordon b Deighan   0  0  0  0  0  
Ben   c Khan b Hart   8  0  0  2  0  
Ken   run out Mendel    7  0  0  0  0  
Lucius   c Khan b Korgaonkar   19  0  0  0  0  
Joe   lbw b Hart   0  0  0  0  0  
Mikey   lbw b Hart   0  0  0  0  0  
Randy   c & b Khan   0  0  0  0  0  
Delroy   c Mehta b Khan   1  0  0  0  0  
Fred   not out    0  0  0  0  0  
 Extras (b 8, lb 5, w 11, nb 0) 24    
 TOTAL (18.3 Overs) 77    
 Fall of wickets: 
Bowling  O  M  R  W  
 Ed Hart   8  2  25  4  
 Joe Deighan   5  0  23  2  
 Jahangir Khan   4  0  12  2  
 Aroon Korgaonkar   1.3  6  0  1