Revenge is smashing
Pacific v St Clements CC at Wray Crescent
Sat 07 Oct 2017 at 12 noon
Won by 4 runs
Friendly fixture

Much of this game hung on the last over of each innings as Pacific recorded their first victory over St Clements. The Ilford away team, having chased down and beaten Pacific in each of our only two previous meetings, were confident of repeating the hat-trick on the true-bouncing Wray astroturf. They came close but no banana. 

Pacific skipper on the day Riz Siddiqui lost the toss but after putting himself down the order smashed 28 off the last over of the home side's innings and a first-floor window of a nearby house in a dazzling finale of the first innings. Modern club legend James Gleadow, watching the match as part of his unique bucket list between hospital visits, chastised the captain for his lack of self-control. "Did you have to hit it quite so far, Riz?"

Self-control is no problem for Toby Chasseaud, whose runs again provided the foundation of the innings. Ordered by Riz to make sure Pacific scored at six and over, Chickdog scored at an almost-run-a-ball rate, but fell just one short of his second ton of the season. Demanding bastards that they are, the sideline talk was still that he could have stepped on the gas even more. Anyway, by the time he was out, Pacific had 180 of their final 214 total, so no complaints really. But Riz put the icing on the cake with a 30 off 11 balls to show his club captain the way!

Other worthwhile mentions in the innings must include Ben "Burnfam" practically dislocating his shoulder in one of his signature offside air-thrashes. Mark Woodland was challenging Ben for the Pacific air-shot record before his innings was interrupted by the drinks break, which saw "Creatures" transformed from woodland mouse to woodland wolf as he sent several shots howling to the boundary, including one beautifully vicious square cut. The skipper's baby brother Mutz hit his first sixes of the season and his guest recruits from the Tottenham Terriers, Shaf and Asnad, both batting unselfishly, with Shaf admired for his relaxed approach to getting in the zone. Ben Stockton went down softly for a seven-ball blob, while James "Hoggy" Hogg was given LBW despite inside-edging it for the second time this season.

Tea, which now that Wray Crescent is a fully al-fresco venue with a condemned pavili-bunker and no marquee replacement yet, was nevertheless a pretty tasty spread, led by a classic Hussain aloo curry.

Buoyed by their 100% record of chasing Pacific down despite the required rate of more than six an over, St Clements got off to a solid start, with powerful openers who capitalised on any inaccurate bowling. There was not much of that from Stockton, who was as tight as you'd expect a proud Yorkshireman to be but went both wicketless and runless on the day, which left him frustrated as he looks to retain his player of the season trophy. Shaf was bowling well at the other end and Asnad replaced him and both looked useful bowlers but there was no breakthrough until the spinners were brought on with around 70-0 on the board.  

Oli Haill does not exactly warrant being classed as a spinner on the Wray plastic pitch, but his in-drift on the overcast afternoon caused the batsmen trouble and quickly removed one of the openers. Ahmed was brought on soon after and induced a top edge that keeper Mutz snaffled easily. The Chairman and the A-bomb served up a few pies but with Oli taking two from two balls in his third over, the momentum was swinging as much as the ball. 

Asnad and Shaf were brought back and took wickets, while Riz again held himself back to bowl the squeaky-bum death overs as the light faded. Despite getting hit for a huge six, the 18 required off the last over was too much and the captain's minute field placings had all been worth it in the end, as he led Pacific to a revenge win against this Ilford-based oppo.


Post-game highlights at the WB Yeats pub included banana-throwing by two senior club officials, a massive Irish music jam session and Ben's intriguing relationship with his neighbour Dave the dog or "Arsehole Dave" as the owner calls him, his ex-squeeze and her Bear. A lowlight was "actress" Hatty in the Rooster's Piri Piri. Another lowlight was had by your correspondent, who fell asleep on the train and woke up in Welwyn Fucking Garden City, with his jeans and jumper splattered with whitish grime that he was quickly relieved to remember was banana.

Big thanks also to the Govenor, who scored the whole game and used an unusual scoring system that intrigued us plenty. 

A banana

Very keen field as Stockton bowls!

Pacific v St Clements CC
Toss won by St Clements CC
Pacific innings  R  M  B  4  6
Toby Chasseaud   c Asad b Adnan   99  117  104  11  2  
James Hogg   lbw b Asad   6  17  11  1  0  
Ben Burnham   c Adnan b Arslan   12  23  20  2  0  
Ben Stockton   c Square leg b Arslan   0  6  7  0  0  
Mark Woodland   c Adnan b Arslan   24  36  38  3  0  
Murtaza Siddiqui†   c Short cover b Waqas   15  16  7  0  2  
Asnad Kureshi   c Salman b Nadeem   0  2  1  0  0  
Shaf Kazi   c Asad b Nadeem   4  7  6  0  0  
Rizwan Siddiqui*   not out    30  17  11  1  4  
Oliver Haill   not out    4  13  8  0  0  
Ahmed Hussain   did not bat    0  0  0  0  0  
 Extras (b 6, lb 0, w 11, nb 3) 20    
 TOTAL (35.0 Overs) 214    
 Fall of wickets:  1-25 [Hogg] , 2-60 [Burnham ] , 3-65 [Stockton] , 4-126 [Woodland] , 5-163 [Siddiqui] , 6-164 [Kureshi] , 7-180 [Kazi] , 8-180 [Chasseaud]
Bowling  O  M  R  W  
 Asad   7  0  31  1  
 Adnan   7  1  31  1  
 Arslan   7  1  26  3  
 Issi   3  0  19  0  
 Salman   2  0  18  0  
 Javid   1  0  9  0  
 Nadeem   6  0  52  2  
 Waqas   1  0  13  1  
 Stacy   1  0  9  0  
St Clements CC innings  R  M  B  4  6
Momeen   c Siddiqui b Hussain   60  74  56  7  2  
Stacy   b Haill   22  57  54  3  0  
Waqas   lbw b Haill   2  19  12  0  0  
Arslan   c Haill b Kureshi   32  43  31  4  0  
Salman   b Haill   0  1  1  0  0  
Javid   c Siddiqui b Kazi   34  51  40  1  1  
Nadeem   b Kureshi   0  2  1  0  0  
Shah   not out    27  13  14  1  3  
Adnan   c & b Siddiqui   7  2  3  0  1  
Jawad   not out    1  1  1  0  0  
 Extras (b 13, lb 5, w 5, nb 2) 25    
 TOTAL (35.0 Overs) 210    
 Fall of wickets:  1-83 [Stacy] , 2-101 [Momin] , 3-101 [Waqas] , 4-101 [Salman] , 5-169 [Arslan] , 6-170 [Nadeem] , 7-196 [Javid] , 8-203 [Adnan]
Bowling  O  M  R  W  
 Ben Stockton   7  0  22  0  
 Shaf Kazi   6  0  32  1  
 Asnad Kureshi   7  0  40  2  
 Oliver Haill   7  0  37  3  
 Ahmed Hussain   5  0  37  1  
 Rizwan Siddiqui   3  0  24  1