Across N1, cricketers sat up tight, 

A hush descended the Saturday night.

Cats stayed their nightly jaunt,

The ghost of Chasseaud’s refusal to walk. 

Gather round, I’ll tell you a tale,

Of the fury at a dislodged bail.

Foxes crept back to their lair, 

A fell voice upon the air:  

Chigwell. 

A fixture filled to boot with history, passion and controversy. But as John Lennon said: “Give Peace a Chance”. 

And lo, that is exactly what Pacific did as it pissed it down on a dreary afternoon in Chigwell. 

After navigating though the plush Essex mansions, PCC arrived at the altogether rather lovely home-ground of Fives and Heronians CC, shared with Chigwell on a Sunday. And the facilities were indeed superb: 

Rope boundary! Electronic score-board! Functioning kitchen with tea-making capability! 

You’re not in Wray Crescent anymore Dorothy… 

The drizzle arrived, but wasn’t too horrendous and as the forecast said the weather would improve, we decided to crack on (and thus, the standard of acceptable playing weather was set…).

Led by Ahmed, Pacific won the toss and elected to bowl first in the spitting rain. 

Tom Gane was handed the new ball and was bowling with good pace to the openers. From the other end Joe Deighan was causing both openers difficulty with the extra bounce he was extracting from the pitch.  

As the pitch and outfield got wetter, the ball started skidding through, bringing gully and point into play for any thickish edges. 

On came Mohan who, as usual kept things tight with his more-than-useful left arm spin. Meanwhile Rahul was unlucky not to get a wicket from his six overs, with an LBW appeal in his first over reminiscent of Pacific vs Chigwell games of old… 

But these are not games of old. This is 2022 and Pacific are striding forward into a brave new world. So what better man to bring on than the ever polite, would-take-him-home-for-dinner-with-your-parents, Ahmed Hussain. 

Alas, however genteel a leg-spinner one may be, by now the ball was as wet as a [INSERT IDIOM HERE] and he was struggling to “grip it and rip it”.   

After a mild amount of swearing and despite picking up two wickets, Ahmed replaced himself  with The Writer, who was by now fully rejuvenated following a tricky birthday match last weekend. 

The Writer and JD bowled out the last few overs, with Pacific putting in a good shift to restrict Chigwell to 216-7 from their 45 overs, in what was by now constant drizzle. The closing stages even featured The Writer somehow almost getting a hat-trick with a half-tracker and a full-toss. 

Jas Bas and The Writer strode out to begin Pacific’s reply, with the drizzle still falling. By now the pitch had become cakey and muddy, much to the groundsman’s chagrin. 

The two started cautiously but,The Writer then got what he described in a hasty post-wicket setting of the narrative, as an “unplayable delivery” from Hannant, which pitched on leg and seamed to hit the top of off. 

Jas looked in good order, with his sessions at the Oval seemingly money well spent, before skying one to mid-wicket for 17, with Pacific now 58-2 after 14 overs. 

In came Riz and Mohan who asserted themselves against the Chigwell attack. Mohan in particular cutting and driving sumptuously, as the pair upped the run rate.  

But then rain (finally) stopped play; what had been acceptable drizzle eventually turning to full-on rain, stopping play for about 20 minutes. 

After the restart, despite Pacific lost 12 overs from their allotment, the target remained the same, making the target almost unreachable. 

Soon after, Mohan was bowled after making a well-crafted 52.

To their credit, Riz, Burnham, Rahul and JD, all gave the target a good go. Despite the required rate getting to about 12 an over, they all batted selflessly in trying to give Pacific a chance. Indeed Riz's 68 got Pacific within shouting distance of the target.

But by the time Pacific were 7 wickets down, Tom Gane and Ahmed decided to drop anchor.

And with 10 balls to go, chances of a Pacific win offically disappeared, after Ahmed defended a straight one - despite Pacific needing him to hit a mere 10 consecutive sixes to win the match.

Anyway, the game was drawn and we went for a quick beer with our former rivals turned friends.  

Drinks were drunk and stories were shared from our respective homelands. As the Sun set, we sat around the fire, learning of the natives' customs, traditions and superstitions. Indeed the natives’ way of life is peculiar to us foreigners – the Chigwell beer is a strange yellow colour which, whilst odd to our foreign taste buds, the natives have developed an adaptation meaning it tastes little more than water.

Then, children from the local primary school flocked to the ground and gave us garlands of flowers before linking hands to make a giant ‘peace’ symbol, whilst singing Michael Jackson’s “Heal the World” (he’s not yet been cancelled in Chigwell), accompanied by Rob Allum on drums, ushering in a new era of relations between these two cricketing superpowers. 

Indeed not since the Cold War détente of the 1970s have we seen such diplomatic thawing as we have between Pacific and Chigwell, with Ahmed and Rob Allum expertly taking on the Richard Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev roles, as they take the two clubs towards a new period of peaceful co-existence. The two leaders also agreed that a new hotline, known as the “blue telephone”, would be installed between each of their offices, to ensure direct communication in the event of any future conflict.